I'm here, get these celebrities out, or something

I see that while I was away there was another "Celebrity Poker" thread on the Mob Forum. It's probably a good job I wasn't here or I would have incurred the wrath of Miss Vicky by suggesting, as a colleague did, that Roger de Courcey and Nookie Bear are less than worthy of our star-struck adulation. I am tempted to write to the Observer and suggest that, while Vicky is an excellent writer, we the British public would rather see celebrities doing things badly than professionals doing things right, and so can she please be replaced by Stu "I Could Crush a Grape" Francis ?

Nonetheless it would be remiss of me not to report on which US celebrities allowed us to bask in their radiance last week. Allegedly Prince was staying in the hotel and even played a little bit of poker, although I didn't see him. Mind you he could have been across the table in Seat 9 for all I knew as he probably wouldn't be tall enough to see over the rail. Much more believably, I met the 2002 World Shuffleboard Champion who regaled us with the thrilling tale of how he overcame a wrist injury by throwing left-handed to claim the title. "You gotta be able to play with both hands at that level" - so now you know. And we saw Preppie from "Saved by the Bell" who very thoughtfully wore a T-shirt with a picture of his character on it and the word PREPPIE underneath. If only more D-list celebs would follow this example, I for one would find it a lot easier.