Get It Quietly

Football, bollocks and a bit of poker if you're lucky.

Location: Enfield, London, United Kingdom

Monday, January 04, 2010

How Low Can We Go

Here in my ivory tower I don't have a TV and so I am spared the worst of it. However, Victoria Coren linked to a clip of Peaches Geldof talking about the Large Hadron Collider which, I'm sure you'll agree, sounded too good to miss.

The actual clip was contained in Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe Review of 2009. Apparently, according to a comment on YouTube (must be true then obv) some band has a song entitled "Charlie Brooker Is Right About Everything", and I have yet to find any evidence disproving this. He is right about everything. Anyway, this review contains some truly horrendous TV - I knew it was bad, but I didn't know it was this bad. We have the aforementioned Peaches Geldof being interviewed by the only person in the country stupider than her ; the footage of the 10 year old bursting into tears on Britain's Got (No) Talent, which is a lot more worrying than I thought it would be ; Nick Griffin on Question Time ; and what we can only describe as A Tale Of Two Paedos.

In Part 1, we are treated to a seance with Michael Jackson, who wants to tell the world, through the medium of the, er, medium, that the tabloids are full of "lies, lies and more lies". Yeah, says Brooker of the spiritualist, you really hate people making stuff up, in a tone that would cause any sarcasm detector within 800 yards to explode comedically. Anyway, Jackson fans in the seance get to share their love with the singer who has ceased to be, tears of joy all round.

The paedo in Box Number Two (so to speak) does not get off so lightly. Really, you have to watch this, I had no idea TV was now this bad. Apparently there was a full scale dramatisation entitled "The Execution Of Gary Glitter", mock trial, people like Gary Bushell commenting as if it was real, long walk to the hangman's rope, the lot. The only redeeming feature was the classic suspenseful courtroom scene "have you reached a verdict - Yes your honour", the suspense of which must have been somewhat lessened for anyone who could remember the title of the show. Which probably wasn't many of the people watching so there you go.

Anyway, check out the clips and I'm now catching up on the previous episodes of Screenwipe on YouTube, if I can stand the horror !


Blogger Mike Woodhouse said...

Not having been a Guardian reader since the late 80s, I was not aware until recently that Brooker wrote a column there. Now that the truth has reached me, I get his stuff in my feed reader and I'm catching up with the last few years by wandering through "The Hell Of It All", which collects a great big wodge of columns and which I was able to induce the family to give me last week. He does appear to have been right for quite a long time.

10:27 PM  
Blogger splittter said...

Keep watching on youtube as at one point Brooker shows stuff from some daytime TV show that gave celebrities past life regression hypnosis ... I shit you not ... you get to see Eddie Large lying with eyes closed on a psychiatrists couch slurring his words ... he claims to have been a highlander signed up to the Jacobite rebellion, when asked what his name was he replies 'Jocky'

1:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The great thing about Peaches Geldof, was that it was her who suggested the subject as a topic of conversation. Meaning she thinks she knows about it. "it's like in Texas somewhere and is like trying to create a black hole in space." In the words of the fantastic Brian Cox, Particle Psysicists at CERN "anyone who thinks the LHC will create a black hole is a twat!"



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Brooker is great. MW 'now that the trust has reached me' lol.

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