Get It Quietly

Football, bollocks and a bit of poker if you're lucky.

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Location: Enfield, London, United Kingdom

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Proof That Chocolate Is Bad For You

Be very careful if you buy a Kit Kat. If you see the slightest hint of gold when you open it, shove the lot in your mouth. Eat everything. Don't let anyone see the ticket or the stormtroopers will jump out, whop you over the head and drag you off, feet trailing in the dirt. When you wake up you will be in the Big Brother house of doom, locked in with a bunch of utter wankers, forced to perform demeaning tasks for food. While everyone else is watching the World Cup and laughing at you. It oughtn't to be allowed.

3 Comments:

Blogger The Camel said...

How much do you think a golden ticket would fetch on e-bay?

1:15 PM  
Anonymous JQ said...

Top price paid for golden ticket on e-bay: £2.0 - 2.4k.

6:15 PM  
Blogger Andy_Ward said...

Ebay subverts so many things. It's great. Channel 4, for example, maybe wanted someone normal to go on Big Brother. Their mistake was thinking that anyone who isn't an attention-seeking idiot would want to be on it.

But my recent favourite is the Chelsea fan who caught Mourinho's jacket when he threw it into a crowd (probably after biting and scratching for it like wild dogs if I know Chelsea fans). He was in the paper the next morning banging on about how much it meant to him. It was on Ebay before the day was out.

Andy.

6:24 PM  

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