Get It Quietly

Football, bollocks and a bit of poker if you're lucky.

Location: Enfield, London, United Kingdom

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Return Of The Poker Chavs

An extract from a poker blog, which is generously described as "a corker" by its parent website :

"[Hero] approaches the counter [in a KFC] and is asked 'What would you like?' His reply: 'What do you bloody think I want? I want CHICKEN!' at the top of his voice. Where else ... would I have met characters like this?"

What, complete twats ? Just about anywhere in my experience.

Trying to take the piss out of minimum-waged people who are doing a horrible boring job as best they can is both desperately unfunny and also pretty stupid, as anyone who has read Trainspotting will agree. Don't fuck with the people who serve your food. You really have to hope that the raconteur in question was served up a nice spitburger at the very least.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wrote the piece in question

A little poetic licence and a little misunderstanding in how it was related to me accounts for crass way it came across.

You are right in your sentiments Andy. I/We don't go around demeaning staff like this but it came across as demeaning and insulting.

3:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And this is coming from someone who thought it hilarious when a friend of yours openly abused a casino worker on every poker forum in existance, including posting his name and phone number, i think the word is hypocrit.

Now get down off your high horse before you get vertigo.

3:43 PM  
Blogger Andy_Ward said...


Fair enough, I was probably too quick to jump on you for that.


Yes, I do have a tendency to jump on my high horse but in this particular case I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about.


3:44 PM  
Blogger danmonkey said...

On said 'parent' sites forum their is a mild refutation from the hero of the tale and I posted something similar to your sentiment before reading this. I think artistic licence got the better of the authors usually good judgement.

I believe that having once upon a time done a similar job, and suffered all sorts of 'entertaining hijinks' on a Friday/Saturday night, gives a different perspective on such tales. Probably shouldn't though.

3:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I used to work in Mcdonalds for 4 years and did a high proportion of night shifts. I've recieved more stick than I know what to do with of this ilk.

It's not big or clever. The tank should be made to walk the streets of London in the nip!

4:02 PM  
Blogger londonpokergirl said...

and I was there in the KFC laughing . It wasn't taking the piss outta KFC or the workers

We were having a laugh about boneless boxes and they'd run out of them and just having a good old laugh

4:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ignore that last reply from thebus, private joke.

The poker community is small Mr. Ward, be careful about calling people names and wishing bad things upon them in writings. Especially over 3rd hand information. (This isn't menat to be construed as a threat, please don't take it that way)

You can wish all the spit burgers in the world upon me, I'm not going to do the same to you as I don't know you.

Last night, I read that entry from tightend, and said something as I misrepresented.

After being dircted here I took it upon myself to write the following on blonde......

(I don't like getting all uppity like this, but I also don't like people who don't know me publicly calling me a twat.)

4:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've been looking at some guys blog for calling me a twat. Hoping that I get served up a spit burger.

I worked in Mcdonalds for over 4 years. I used to own the weekend nightshift. It was hard work, we took torrents of abuse. We were professionals though and never did anything to the food of even the biggest twats. (Milkshakes are a different story)

No matter how pissed I am, I would never shout at someone for doing their job, for the sake of a cheap laugh. I have empathy with those behind the counter, not a superiority complex.

I wasn't so much drunk (can remember eveything that happened, only slightly tipsy) as in a giggling hysteria. When you find something really funny and are doubled over laughing.

At no point did I converse with any of the staff in the shop, let alone shout. I knew I wouldn't be able to order without collapsing in a fit of hysterics. A friend ordered for me. Jo, Jaggers, Mel and Sophie should be able to testify to that.

What actually happened was that I came out of the shop (for some air) and told the waiting Tightend in the car about why I was giggling. It would have been easy for me to misrepresent events, between bursts of laughter, and may have shouted (to make myself heard over my own giggling) the punchline.

I've spoken with tightend and don't mind a little poetic licence remaining in his entry, even though it provokes guys who don't know me into calling me a twat and wishing the saliva of others upon me. After all, it was how I represented events to him. Communication is difficult when in the throws of hysteria.

I'd been physically assualted 17 times during the course of my fast food career. At the end of a nightshift, if the biggest twat of the night just shouted that he wanted chicken, it was a good night.

4:50 PM  
Blogger Fred Titmus said...

Anyone else not have a fucking clue what all this is about?

Remember Andy, hyperlinks are your friend...

5:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I share your bewilderment.

From what I can gather, someone who used to work at McDonalds didn't slag off someone who currently works at KFC.

Oh yeah, and the poker community's small, and Andy should be careful, but he's not being threatened so I assume a boycott of his blog is being considered. Either that or his BB's getting nicked every time he plays from now on.

5:23 PM  
Blogger Andy_Ward said...


If you didn't say it, then I withdraw the personal comments I made. I think we're in agreement that anyone who does say things like that is ... not worthy of much respect :-)

everyone else,

It's all on blondepoker if you're still interested.


5:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't be so quick to call people chavs and twats next time.

6:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think the expression "touched a nerve" comes to mind.
"This isn't meant to be taken as a threat" right ok

8:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hi andy

I am going to start playing 25/50c limit PLO PLO8 and need some advice.

what should my starting bank be ?
what sort of hourly win rate should i try to reach ?
is there a likely, or acceptable, variance ?

btw i am going to stick rigidly to these limits because i have been learning to play PLO, both limit and pot limit at varying levels ie 2/4c all the way up to 50c/$1 and as you can imagine my game and results are all over the place. I am not even sure that my play is getting better !!
I hope that if i stick to the one level it will be a better learning ground for me ie playing against the same level of skill/opponent all the time. is this a reasonable assumption, or am I way off the mark ?

burning question - as a learner (and therefor fish) should i only contine in the hand post flop if I have a shot at the nuts ?



1:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The bit that stands out for me is this:

"I used to own the weekend nightshift"

Who talks like that? I mean really?



5:00 PM  
Blogger Andy_Ward said...


I'm sorry, I don't know much about low-limit Omaha. I could guess some answers but they'd only be guesses.

I suggest you try Steve Badger's site, . If anyone has any other helpful Omaha links then feel free.


5:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Football, bollox and a bit of poker if you're lucky.

This is definately the bollox.

6:12 PM  
Blogger Andy_Ward said...

No, no. I have separate blogs for poker and football now.

This is ALL bollocks.


6:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Touched a nerve? Nah, just the first time I've been slagged off on the internet and I thought I'd enjoy it.

The threatning thing. (For the hard of understanding) Just common sense advice.

Call someone a chav twat and if they're not, they might get offended.

If, however, they are a chav twat, (I'm vain enough to consider myself to not be in this group) they'll probably be gunning for you. Within a relatively small community, this is usually a bad plan.

Anyway, time for me to leave this the hell alone. There's better ways to waste my time on the internet than retorting to annoymous slangs.

I'm an egomaniac (arn't we all), so I'll probably still check back and read it though. :)

8:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The great thing is you two guys are so alike, both very good writers and knowledgable. Blogs and forums are great reads so lets enjoy each others work and let bygones be bygones.

6:37 AM  

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