Get It Quietly

Football, bollocks and a bit of poker if you're lucky.

Location: Enfield, London, United Kingdom

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Winning Friends And Influencing People

A poster in the comments asked me about the Trumper/Greenstein spat. Well, seeing as the protagonists have kissed and made up I think we should let it lie. It is interesting to note, though, how skilfully Simon defused the situation [according to BG on 2+2]. He explained himself to BG by saying "It was the only way I could get a call from a world class player". Having been complimented so fulsomely, there's little that BG could do other than say "OK, well, just don't do it again".

I might not have noticed if I hadn't been reading "How To Win Friends And Influence People". Yes really ! It's like a comedy standby isn't it - the cardroom grouch stomps off cursing everyone after another "unlucky" exit and you say "How To Win Friends And Influence People - by [Insert Name Here]". Anyway I found it in a charity shop and thought why not (I view charity shops as libraries where you pay the fee in advance and they don't hassle you). The book is interesting, and all makes sense, although I do think some of it is a bit manipulative. But it does stress that you should compliment people sincerely rather than just flatter them. My downfall is clear enough - "For people to like you, you have to be interested in them". Well that's me fucked because 99% of people don't interest me in the slightest.

Maybe I should just try harder. When I was in Vegas in April, I chatted to quite a few pros who I know on the sort of "acquaintance" level (I don't mean friends like Keith or Bushy who are fine), sponsored pros who I know enough to say hello to. Thinking back I'm fairly sure (I noted it at the time) that only two of them actually asked me about anything I was doing. Joe Beevers asked me where I was playing etc, and Padraig Parkinson talked about Bar Beat. And so of course I thought much better of them than the guys who were just "me me me". Maybe the lesson is that you have to give action to get action !

So I spotted a chance today to try this out. Going into our little kitchen bit for a drink I saw the new canteen girl doing the washing up. "Hello, I'm sorry I don't know your name, I'm Andy, how are you getting on, etc." seemed to go down quite well. Maybe this stuff works after all :-). I like the girls in our canteen, they call me "And" because Andy is too formal. Maybe if I perfect Dale Carnegie's techniques they will call me "An" or even "A". Then I'll know I've cracked it. Yes I know, not ripping the piss out of people would help too. But I don't think they're reading this blog...


Blogger SimonG. said...

I actually went on a 13 week Dale Carnegie course. I'm not sure that the course organiser would be happy for me to be an advert for a product of that training but it was certainly quite interesting. The Carnegie Golden rules were worth thinking about and have come in handy in business situations, particularly things like giving somoene a chance to save face, so they don't look like they have lost the argument, but you get what you wanted all the same. A touch of modernisation wouldn't go amiss though.

What I found most useful about reading the books were some techniques on preparing speeches which were put into practice on the course and memory pegging to help you remember multiple items/points/events.

Attending a public course was also a stark refresher that librarians, stamp collectors and social workers do exist and how glad I am that I don't have to sit in their canteen at lunchtime every day.

9:24 PM  

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