Get It Quietly

Football, bollocks and a bit of poker if you're lucky.

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Location: Enfield, London, United Kingdom

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Boo Fucking Hoo

My heart is about to break for Manchester United and Real Madrid. Honestly, the trials and tribulations that beset these noble clubs and their loyal, committed fans, fans who give their unqualified support through thick and thin out of sheer love for their community, accepting defeat as they do with a hearty handshake and a wry smile. I always say if you're going to do sarcasm, then do it properly.

Manchester United's David Gill (who he - chief bean counter) "is concerned that the competition will lose some of its pulling power if the 'glamour' clubs go out early" according to a report on BBC Sport. He says "It's not good for the big clubs, not good for TV and sponsors if there are no Spanish clubs in the quarter finals". A touching gesture of camaraderie towards his Spanish counterparts there. Arsene Wenger is even more philanthropic. "You can't afford to have Real Madrid and Manchester United - big clubs who invest so much money - going out in the last 16 ... I don't think the formula at the moment helps the best teams". I'm not sure if my natural cynicism is creeping in here, do let me know if you think it is, but could it be that Gill and Wenger are really concerned about Manchester United and Arsenal ?

What exactly do these people want ? Should all Champions League games before the quarter finals be run like the Harlem Globetrotters vs those loser guys, the Generals or whoever they were ? Tricks and flicks, stepovers and bicycle kicks, and let's make sure the heroes win in the end ? If Manchester United want to improve their miserable record of one knockout win in the last 6 years, maybe they shouldn't disrespect their group opponents by playing their reserves against Lyon, thus ensuring that they would finish second in their group and have to face a group winner in the next round ? Well maybe that was too complicated for them to understand, so let me offer some alternative advice - why not buy a goalkeeper who can fucking catch the ball ? And as for Arsenal, maybe if they hadn't sold Matthew Upson then they wouldn't have to play someone at centre half who not only looks like Kryten from Red Dwarf, he plays like him too ?

I would love it, just love it, if all these jumped-up money-making marketing machine "Galacticos" did turn their noses up and form a European Super Duper McDonalds Happy Meal Championship of the Greatest Clubs Ever No Riff Raff Allowed, and take their half-interested glory-hunting tosser TV fans with them. The rest of us could ignore the whole thing and get on with some real football. I should probably ignore it anyway, I know. But it's just too much fun to watch a proper team like Milan hold Manchester United at bay as if placing their hand on the forehead of a six year old who is windmilling his arms at you. Because that's the thing with marketing vs content. That's the thing with style vs substance. There's only going to be one winner in the end.

6 Comments:

Blogger Jon Thomson said...

Good point well made. The competition will lose interest if the glamour clubs go out early? If that means being subjected to another Milan - Juventus final like a couple of years ago, that's no bad thing. Give me Porto - Monaco any day. If the same few teams win all the time, it gets boring - we've seen it in Scotland and we'll see it in the Premier League before too long (if not already).

10:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lionel hutz
As you know im a Chelsea fan, i would hate it if there was a european breakaway league, only because i know that snake Kenyon would involve us! Wage capping is the only way forward, cant wait for Mr Glazer to be the first to introduce it at old trafford ;-)

12:55 PM  
Anonymous Ross M said...

Hi Andy,

I´m a committed blog lurker. I reckon 90% of your stuff is completely spot on and always a good read even when i disagree.
Had to chuckle today though cause i read the article on the BBC website and just had a hunch it would feature in your next post.
It really is THE most arrogant crap i´ve heard from any Chief Exec. What an absolute tosser, hope they come third and go out in the qualifying round next year.

12:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not quite sure why you feel Matthew Upson needs to be brought into your rant. Upson was ahead of Cygan in the pecking order at Arsenal, but wanted to be a regular starter. Given that both Toure and Campbell are better than him this wasn't going to happen, he was thus granted a transfer. Simple.

4:18 PM  
Blogger Andy_Ward said...

Maybe so but when it comes to football I never let the facts get in the way of a good rant :-)

Andy.

7:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

One day, in the not to distant future, the Champion's League will bring in script writers and nothing will be left to chance.

DL

Too many cliches on United fans though Andy - I bet you were born closer to Brentford...glory hunter!

7:34 PM  

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