Penalty Claws

The next pundit or manager who says "penalties are a lottery" should be strapped down with his eyes peeled open like in A Clockwork Orange and made to watch Arsenal's penalties yesterday 100 times. Penalties are a test of nerve and technique. If you have the nerve, you can wait for the keeper to move and slide it the other way. If you have the technique, you can just smack it in the top corner. And to be fair 4/5 of United's penalties were very good too - but one wasn't, so they lost.

The closest I have ever been to shooting the TV out (if I had a gun) was when Glenn Hoddle was punditing the 1998 World Cup after England's elimination. When the subject of penalties came up he had the nerve and/or ignorance to say "Well Italy practiced penalties and they lost their shootout", with a "so there" look on his face. That's the kind of specious reasoning you need to form his kind of beliefs mind you. Good logic Glenn, so presumably when you subsequently managed Tottenham you never trained at all - I mean look at all those teams who train and still get relegated or knocked out of the cup. Come to think of it maybe they never did - it would explain a lot.

So Hoddle's a goon, but shame should be heaped upon all present who allowed this to go unchallenged. Mind you when Richard Keys can say "there was nothing between the two teams" after a game as one-sided as yesterday's, you wonder if they're watching the games at all or just having their make-up touched up.