Get It Quietly

Football, bollocks and a bit of poker if you're lucky.

Location: Enfield, London, United Kingdom

Tuesday, July 26, 2005


Some extra rake for me - I have just received a fixed £60 fine and 3 penalty points for the heinous crime of doing 40 mph through a one-horse dungheap of a village on the back road to Luton, at the prime time rush hour of 11:28 pm, just when the kids are being walked home from school. If this letter had said "Give us 60 quid or we'll jump on your head" I would have respected it more for honesty, given that's what it boils down to. And hey, it's obviously a much more serious offence than driving the wrong way round a roundabout while pissed off your head and nearly crashing into someone (me) a year before, about which they did fuck all.

But to add insult to injury the letter is clearly marked as a "Notice of Intended Prosecution" or NIP. I swear I'm not making this up. Someone is taking the fucking piss. Here's your £60 and damn your eyes. Don't spend it all at once you cunts.


Blogger danmonkey said...

Ah, the joy of backdoor taxation.

It was 84 mph on the quietest motorway in the country (M6 in north Cumbria) that criminalised me. Now look forward to the extra 50 quid a year it will cost you on your insurance for the next 3 years...

11:41 AM  
Blogger chaos said...

I've been caught 3 times over the years, every time I was returning from a late night of gambling. I am, retrospectively, fairly philosophical though, it was karma, even though the offences themselves merited no penalty,imo.

On one occasion, when I got caught by the old double act, the female police officer appeared to give me an out when she noted that I and her boyfriend shared birthdays. She delivered her surprise in a conversational style befitting a dinner table, not to a guy she was about to charge with a criminal offence.

The one thing has struck me about 'having my collar felt' over for traffic offences over the years, was how perfectly it illustrates the difference between being efficient and effective.

I suppose one could argue their methods create some implied effectiveness, since those sitting close to a ban are more likely to drive safer at times that really do matter. However, their resources could undoubtedly be deployed more effectively if increasing road saftey were to be their only objective in catching those breaking speed limits. Of course that is obviously not the case.


2:33 PM  
Blogger Andy_Ward said...

Now I have calmed down a bit it isn't totally unreasonable, and maybe a reminder that I should drive a bit more carefully.

What I really objected to was the whole tone of the letter, which basically says "You're guilty, you criminal, and don't try to defend yourself or we'll do you for £1000". That's not right, I don't think.

As for the insurance, I hadn't thought of that, but it's not due again till April. Maybe at that point I'll just lose the car. It's getting on a bit and I have no intention of buying another. I seem to be doing perfectly well without that other necessity of Western culture, the TV. Better than I thought I would.


6:02 PM  
Blogger Fred Titmus said...

Imagine if it had come from the new Northern Ireland Police Service.

10:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What you need is a friendly non driving poker player(optional) who will take your points for a small fee.

Not that I have done this myself of course!!

What's the point of having a car if you can't drive everywhere at 90mph ... crap attitude I know but that's just me :)


1:33 PM  

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