Get It Quietly

Football, bollocks and a bit of poker if you're lucky.

Location: Enfield, London, United Kingdom

Sunday, April 18, 2004

Me, Myself and Him

A quick follow up to my piece last week about referring to yourself in the third person (by the way Alan Shearer is another one who often mentions Alan Shearer when talking about Alan Shearer). I've been reading Mark Steel's "Reasons to be Cheerful". It's excellent (as is his book on the French Revolution) and I can think of several people who would benefit from reading it even though they'll disagree with almost everything he says (go on David you might enjoy it).

Anyway quite late on in the book he meets Arthur Scargill. While struck by his passion, Steel notes that "Strangest of all was his habit of referring to himself in the third person. So I stood there, trying to nod in agreement, as Scargill yelled 'What did Arthur Scargill do when the pension fund was threatened ? I'll tell you what Arthur Scargill did. Arthur Scargill ...'. Afterwards Mark Thomas, who was standing nearby, suggested that I should have said 'This Arthur Scargill bloke sounds brilliant. I'm going to go and talk to him because you're a w@nker mate'"

Which goes to show that I have a point, I just can't express it as well as professional comedians. Never mind. If only someone would say that to Shearer.

Sunday, April 11, 2004

Bump and Grind

I'm still here there's just not much for me to report ! I'm grinding away on the Internet, I will do for a few months, and then see where we are. As I said a couple of months ago, making money in poker is simply about finding a game you can beat, putting the hours in, and repeating. Boring but there it is. I have wiped off my £1000 loss on the net and am back in black which is nice !

Swimming with the fishes

So I'd better find something else to talk about. Seeing as the latest episode of the Poker "Million" may be the only one that backs up the points I made earlier, let's go with that. The Devilfish gave an absolute masterclass on Friday in how to play when you're the best player. Keep the pots small and don't give anyone a chance to get lucky. Instructive in its way but not exactly dramatic, and precisely what I feared when I looked at the overall line-up. We shall see how the rest of it goes.

The Iceman Goeth

As I said, the latest show was instructive. One lesson for us all is to never, ever, ever refer to yourself in the third person on TV. I know Guy Bowles, he's alright and not an arrogant person at all. But right now he must be wishing he had never said, on camera, "The Iceman doesn't tilt". It made him sound like a complete knob, even before some clever-clogs in Sky spliced it in just before he called the Devilfish's raise out of position with T9. Looked like a tilt play to me Guy :-). Because tilt doesn't necessarily mean calling all your chips when the red mist comes down, Feeney defines tilt as "any adverse impact of emotion on your play". By those standards, I do it, you do it, everyone does it, sometimes. Better to realise that than try to deny it.

Not Bad, Evil Ted

Once again though I was struck by the excellent composure shown by the "sportsman" player. As the Devilfish pointed out, anyone who "takes a penalty shot for England" isn't going to be too fazed by a game of poker (we know what he meant :-)). Once he settled in, Sheringham handled himself better than the rest and might have had a reasonable shot if he hadn't made some understandable technical mistakes through inexperience. If a real player had sat him down beforehand for even an hour and just gone through some tournament basics, he would have had a chance. Now this is a long shot, but if any sportsmen who fancy a shot at the tournament circuit would like some advice, let me know ! It'll cost but you'll get it back many times over. Discount if you play for QPR. No doubt some wag will send me an Email from "Clark Carlisle" any day now :-)

Feel the Pain

Finally for today a window into my world. This is going to be hard for most poker players to identify with, but this morning I was in a "Body Pump" fitness class when I realised that there was something familiar about the instructor's patter. After ten minutes of worrying over it I finally realised she was going "Aaaaaa" just like Action Dave. If she had said "Feel the Pain Aaaaaaa" it could have been him right there. So this is my world. I must be the only person anywhere who can be in a fitness class thinking "this instructor sounds just like a poker player I know". I scare myself sometimes.