I've still got some money !

Made it back from Vegas in one piece last night, and while that obviously means I didn't make it into the biggest poker tournament in the history of the world ever, until the next one, I still made a few hundred dollars on the poker and had a really good time. The Series is different gravy ! Book me in for two weeks next year !

Diary updates to follow, probably after the dust has settled on the main event, and don't worry, there are plenty of other diaries around till then. At one point I chopped a single table satellite three ways with Samuel Pepys and Adrian Mole (ching ! thanks to Bad Beat for that one).

So stay tuned to hear about the five armadillos, the rabid football hooligans, the Nippers Express and the soon to be world famous DY-Hellmuth confrontation.

In the mean time it was so mad on Friday I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to a lot of people so thanks to everyone who was so friendly, good luck to those in the main event, and particular thanks to Keith for pitching the trip to me in the Springbok and convincing me to fly out - cheers mate !

Woo Hoo !!

We are QPR say we are QPR ! Rangers are back in Division One ! Being Rangers we had to make it difficult but I am told we were excellent on the day and we certainly played with more all-round commitment than I have ever seen in the last home game against Swindon. So well deserved all round.

And you know what ? I think I deserve a holiday. And so without further ado I am off to Vegas on Friday. Mostly to hang around the rail, but I will chance my arm in a few satellites and second chance comps just to see what happens. I hereby swear to not wuss out and play like a rock ; to play Aggressive Non-Believer to the hilt ; and to enjoy myself whatever happens. That way I can't lose !

It'll be good to let my hair down for a week. Ice cream for dessert ! Only 10 sit-ups in the morning !! Playing satellites without carefully ascertaining the structure and its implications on play !!! It's going to be a wild time. (only joking about the last one of course)

So if you see a chav in a blue and white hooped shirt hanging around Binions, come up and say hello !

Ps and Qs

... and As for apologies. Sorry about the lack of diary updates lately ! Various reasons, as detailed below. Mainly I have been posting more often on the Hendon Mob forum. I must thank people who have said nice things about the diary and my posts - that encourages me to post more often - so you can blame them for the lack of diary entries ! I expect someone will annoy me enough that I go off and sulk and stop posting soon though, that's what usually happens !

In the meantime every man and his dog is now posting up WSOP diaries. Every sponsored man anyway - when you take the shilling you do have to jump when they click their fingers ! Most are thrilling accounts of how the hero took 7 hours to lose someone else's money. Barny's quite entertaining though, and Colclough's not bad, but the real nuts is Jesse May on www.thegoodgamblingguide.com . This is a) because he can write (you have to read Shut Up and Deal) and b) because he's not playing. Do check it out, it gives you a real feeling for the atmosphere.

On the Bubble

Jesse even finds time to name check the finest football team the world has ever seen (see Day 9). Today QPR are all-in on the bubble, waiting for the flop to be dealt. A win at monstrous under-achievers Sheffield Wednesday would seal promotion to Division One. Now, I know it's a bad idea to make a large emotional investment in something you can't control, but I've kind of got caught up in it this season. I will be gutted for the team if they don't go up, it has been incredibly hard work, but if we don't we can't make excuses, we just haven't won enough games away from home. But if we do it's going to feel great. Don't even want to think about it yet but it will be a massive release of tension !

Bigot Ron

One of the more interesting debates on the forum lately was also football related. "Bigot Ron" (as the Sun called him - like they can talk !) was in the dock for making some rather unpleasant comments about Chelsea's Marcel Desailly. Despite setting his stall out with a heartfelt "some of my best friends are black" defence early doors, Ron was well and truly reduced, leaving the field himself without waiting for the curly finger. So next season someone else will be mangling the English language on ITV every other Wednesday night.

Now, political correctness was a bit nuts (although I suspect that the more extreme examples were made up by the papers) but don't forget that in the 70s family entertainment like "Love Thy Neighbour" and "Mind Your Language" was prime-time. Incidentally the same writer was responsible for both, which begs the question, why did no one kill him ?

Love Thy Neighbour was before my time, but Mind Your Language I remember all too well. It was set in an English as a Foreign Language class where the plucky teacher tried to maintain order in his class of national stereotypes - the pretentious Frenchman, the humourless German, the lecherous Italian, the promiscuous Dutch girl, etc. Basically it made 'Allo 'Allo look like 'Amlet *. To give you an idea how bad it was, it's never been on UK Gold.

So now we have people being removed from their jobs for a careless word when they thought no one was listening, but we don't have Mind Your Language on TV. Make your own judgement. I would have thought Ron would have been a bit more careful mind you, as a few months ago his half time off-air comments were broadcast to most of Europe. In between asking for more sandwiches he mused "I'll tell you what, he's a little tw@t that Totti".

* I freely admit that the whole raison d'etre of this piece was to do that line.

What a con these so-called con-men are ...

... the other day one of them completely conned me. That's the entire text of one of my favourite ever letters in Viz. Poker has its share of dodgy dealers, and every now and then the finger is pointed. I'm not going to say anything about individual cases but what really makes me laugh is when people pop up with the defence "how can you say that, he's a really nice guy". Earth to stupid people - how successful do you think an unfriendly conman would be ? Conmen are nice to people because that helps when it comes to conning them. Duh !