Speak No Evil

After some thought I have just about decided that there's not a lot to be gained from taking cheap shots at individuals. Sure, it's cool to be cynical but in the end it becomes part of you and it is not worth becoming that negative just for a few cheap laughs. In general, remember that when it comes to tournament circuit success, perseverance, a fat wallet (or an accomodating sponsor) and luck are probably just as important as talent. Average and even losing players can have runs of form that make them look like superstars for longer than you could possibly believe. It's the nature of the beast. If they start to believe their own press, it's only a matter of time before the game sorts them out for you.

Never pay too much attention to reputation at the poker table. Even those who are top-class have off-days and are distracted at times. Just focus on how they're playing right now, not who they are. Always play your best and never be discouraged just because of who's at the table. If you can look yourself in the eye in the mirror, you don't need to cut others down however lucky or over-rated you (or I) think they are.

If this blog and others are less entertaining because I'm not being such a bitch, so be it. Maybe if I have to stop taking the easy option I might think of something more interesting to say. We shall see how it goes.

They'll Be Dancing In The Streets Of Total Network Solutions

Sometimes there is no justice. Having offered to sell their Champions League place to Liverpool (effectively), TNS have landed the Scousers in their dream draw. Not content with this, they're trying to drag Ian Rush out of retirement to play. Look, you've got your money - just try to lose with a little dignity, instead of turning it into a complete circus.

Staying In Is The New Going Out

I was all set for going up to Luton to play the £250 tonight, until I decided otherwise at the last minute. It's been a gradual process of moving away from the "big score" mentality over the last few months, but I may have reached the end of the road for now.

I had booked the afternoon off earlier in the week, not wanting to repeat my Gutshot £200 experience of playing with cartoon-style matchsticks propping my eyelids open, but even half a day proved too much for me as I nearly lost it entirely when it transpired that the reason half my icons hadn't worked for the last week was because some juvenile twat had set up a fake backdrop on my PC for his own amusement. After I enquired "haven't you got any fucking work to do" I was OK but it's really unprofessional and not what I need at work at all. I have never understood the hacking mentality, I mean if you're trying to steal some money or fake your exam results that's one thing, but creating these viruses just out of spite and boredom, well grow up.

So after that I sloped off home but it was too hot to sleep in the afternoon (thankfully the weather has broken here just now) and I just didn't feel alert enough to go and play till 3am. So I fire up my favourite on-line tournament (find it yourself then you can cut into my added money :-)) and I have already doubled up thanks to a typically woeful opponent. When you read what happens with TV sometimes (read The Camel's account of how an ill player was treated at a WPT final), is there any point ploughing in money on long-shots if this is how it ends up even when you make it. And £250 comps can wait until I feel 100%, because I'm totally reliant on luck if I'm not.

Disaster Strikes

There I was happily watching Jesse and Padraig shoot the shit via CardPlayer when I thought "I know, I could hear this better if I plugged in some speakers". Plugged in speaker. Horrible "fzzt" sound. Laptop dies. FUCK.

Now on auxiliary laptop but it is all rather annoying. I have opened a bunch of new online accounts on the new one and I don't have the necessary on here to connect to half of them. What I do if my new laptop is dead is anyone's guess.

On top of that I'm on holiday tomorrow anyway. Ah, I'll worry about it when I get back. In the meantime I'll be incommunicado. Until Wednesday, Elvis could ride into the Rio on the Loch Ness Monster, win the $1500 No Limit Shootout, say Thank You Very Much and leave the building, and I'll be none the wiser.

21:09 Wild celebration ! It's working again. I just had to hold the power key down long enough for it to realise it was in "I'm fucked, better reboot" mode. Woo hoo ! This is like getting your entire roll in with KK against AA on a flop of AAK and having a fifth Ace come out on the river. You're no better off than you were 5 minutes ago, but it still feels great ! Right. I can enjoy my holiday now. Until the toga party ...

Another Coup Foiled

Apparently markets on the colour of the Queen's hat at Royal York were suspended after the usual "unusual betting patterns". Unfortunately I can't find a link but I did read in the paper papers this morning that betting was suspended when a "punter" in Windsor tried to put £1000 on brown (which did indeed romp home). Aside from the question of why bookies offer markets that are so susceptible to inside information, it does paint an appealing picture of what happened :

Scene : Ladbrokes, Windsor. Enter a butler type in full dress suit and top hat

Butler Type : Good day my man, I should like to wager one thousand gold sovereigns upon the colour of her most gracious majesty's hat at the gymkhana festivities today.

Bookie : Hmmmm ...

Amateurs. Bad Beat would have had some lackey trailing around every betting shop in the Home Counties at a score a time.

All You Need To Know About Football

George Graham : "You would have scored 200 goals if you hadn't been so lazy"

Matt Le Tissier : "I did score 200 goals."

That works on so many levels.

Nothing Says I Love You Like ...

Here's a verbatim extract from an Email I received from Ultimate Bet yesterday :

"How much would Dad love you if you won him a seat at Camp Hellmuth ?"

Frankly this is such a rich comic seam that I will leave you to mine most of it for yourself. Just one thing I be thinking though. I, with my EV obsessed brain, be thinking, if you try to win a seat and lose, does that still count as a present ? I reckon it does. After all the EV was there. Which would lead to this touching scene on Father's Day :

"Dad, this year I've done something really special for you. I entered a satellite for Camp Hellmuth. I didn't win, but you wouldn't believe the hand I went out on, I mean he called me with like a pair of Jacks ! Donkeys always draw ! Anyway I love you Dad". "I love you too son".

Brings a tear to your eye doesn't it.

You Can't Eat Value

I did make it to Gutshot last night for the William Hill £5K added and it was buzzing, there was a great atmosphere in the place and it was a good night. Seeing as I didn't cash I did the next best thing - busted in 45 minutes. I had about 4300 when I couldn't escape with AK on a KTJ flop - my opponent having flopped a set of Kings. It was one of those hands where if I had been right on my "A" game I might have saved a couple of thousand but I'd been at work all day and I was nowhere near. Fair play to the guy he played it well and did me fair and square.

I figured I could play on auto-pilot for that overlay and while that was true to an extent, there wasn't much extra value in terms of the field, as every shrewdie this side of Vegas made an appearance.

At least the early bust-out gave me some time to socialise, I had a couple of beers with Lawrence, met up with the William Hill crew, had a chat with Derek and David, and exchanged some banter with the usual suspects. Next time I should just do this. Especially if I can swap a few per cent beforehand. Mind you technically there shouldn't be a next time, I was just chatting to The Hat about cricket when he picked up a hand and Ron (the Mad Yank) reraised him and started dancing around etc. As I withdrew to let Alan cogititate on this I said to Barry "family jewels" Martin that if Ron had less than Kings I would give up. Queens reckoned Barry but in fact it was Jacks. So, it's been fun, what else can I play ? No, in the style of Morrissey, I've changed my mind again, my judgement was impaired by alcohol so it doesn't count.

Kudos to Gutshot and William Hill for putting it together and let's look forward to another one. Please please please can it not be on a school night :-)

Tori ! Tori ! Tori !

Went to see Tori Amos last night and while my reservations about her new material were in part confirmed, she did have a gospel section to pep it up a bit, but apart from that all the songs she did from earlier albums were absolutely fantastic, and she managed to pull out quite a few of my favourites even though they're not obvious stand-out tracks. Even I had something in my eye when she performed an achingly beautiful version of "Winter". We were also treated to a couple of bonus cover versions - don't try to guess because you will never name them - Father Figure and Like a Prayer ! Again these were beautifully done but then again they are brilliant pop songs - there were a few around in the late 80s and early 90s, carefully disguised as cheese.

What else did I do yesterday ? Well I finally did move the TV out into the spare room to gather dust. What's to watch now the football's over ? Gordon Ramsay's Celebrity Desperate Housewives DIY Love Island ? Bollocks to that. What riles me all the more though is that I still have to pay the fucking license just to watch DVDs of Family Guy every now and then, even though the TV doesn't have an aerial plugged in ! Hang on though, what if I flogged the TV/video/DVD (should get about £30 the lot I reckon) and watched DVDs on my laptop ? Victory is mine !!

On my way through I bought in for the Gutshot / William Hill £5000 added on Thursday. Do it now ! You'll never find a better value £200 comp. WH are covering the rake as well so it's effectively £7K added (it's capped at 100 runners). Many of the better players are in Vegas, and I certainly didn't recognise many names on the list when I signed up. Except the name at the top. You have to get up pretty early to beat some people.