You Know You're Going Down When ...

.. in the match you have to win to have any chance of staying up, you have a player sent off for two stupid bookings, you score an own goal and then Marc Bircham, of all people, sticks one in the top corner. Not your day ? Not your season. Thus and so, Nottingham Forest are the first club ever, in all of Europe, to win the European Cup and drop into the third tier of their domestic league. It is, of course, traditional for onlooking fans to gloat over such things, but I didn't, and I think a lot of our fans didn't either. We've been there, and it's a long way back.

As for Rangers, it was all a bit end of term. In fact, Forest pulled one back when Santos and Bignot were playing Kerplunk instead of policing the Rangers penalty area (Santos won of course with his delicate touch). Mid-table obscurity is our lot, but don't underestimate the psychological difference between pushing at the top end and falling away, and flirting with relegation and pulling clear. The former adds up to a much more enjoyable and stress-free season. My favourite games would be beating West Ham 1-0 in front of a jam-packed Loftus Road to go fourth, and coming back from 2-0 down to beat Leicester with a late winner.

Nonetheless the season is not quite over down in W12. On Thursday Monsieur Santos will be made to look like Zinedine Zidane as I commit football sacrilege by treading the hallowed turf in a charity game. I wish I wish I wish I had done some more fitness work in the last couple of months but you know how it is - I'm a lazy git. I will have to hope that everyone else is in similar shape and that I am not being marked by some ridiculously fit 22-year old semi-pro or something. I will certainly let you know how it goes, and should I trouble the onion bag I will try my best to put some video on this site !

Missing The Party

It is looking increasingly unlikely that I will be able to travel to the WSOP in June. Work are pushing back very strongly against two weeks off at a crucial time in our development plan, and I don't think it's worth going for just a week. OK I'm not saying I can't go - you can do anything you want to in this life if you're prepared to take the consequences. I could tell work where to go and fly out to Vegas for 3 months if I really wanted to. I choose not to at the moment :-). There are upsides - I can make use of my holiday better and maybe save the next trip until Christmas/New Year (which is very tempting). The Series could be a bit of a zoo this year anyway, and I wasn't able to go when I really wanted to - when the Shooutouts and 7 Card Hi-Lo tournaments were on. Onwards and upwards - and if I wanted to go for the social side (which I did) then I really could make an effort to be more social over here.

. . .

So all I have to look forward to this weekend is spring cleaning. Am I so vain you ask ? Of course not. Unfortunately the guy who came in to fix my boiler on Wednesday has grassed me up to the landlord for, well, wallowing in my own filth to be honest. It's a good opportunity to throw a lot of stuff out. In fact I have already started. As usual I am very (and rightly) cynical about the claims of TV adverts but I have to admit that Cillit Bang stuff does the fucking job. I daren't spill any of it mind you it would probably go through to the bone in about 3 seconds.

. . .

Oh yeah, we did film some more "Bar Beat" in the Western on Wednesday (while the boiler guy was gathering evidence against me). The Western would be quite good if there were any actual games to play. So I shared the sofa with Howard Lederer and Ben Roberts for one of them. And, erm, DY and Jon Shoreman for the other. I wish I had been in the last one with Chris Ferguson and Dr. Channing because right at the end Ferguson said that when he sat down at a table on Full Tilt it would be full within seconds. Sadly (for shame Hugo) no one quipped "that's just like you in the Vic Neil". Fun anyway. And they paid me - kerching ! Fortunately Ivey had been delayed by the WPT final and so I didn't have to sit there star-struck and tongue-tied, I do respect Lederer but Ivey is the coolest !

. . .

Speculation is rife that Hasan Habib "owned" 50% of Tuan Le in that self-same WPT final. Seeing as they were three-handed with Paul Maxfield, IF this is true then that would represent a hell of a conflict of interest for Habib, at the very least. This could end in tears at some point, it really could. But how else can people play $10K tournaments every week, when no deals are allowed ? And how can you stop it ? Any rules you make are more likely to end up punishing the innocent than catching the guilty. Oh well. One more reason not to waste too much time and money chasing these tournaments I suppose.

The Worst Ruling Ever

There's a post on Paul Phillips' blog with this title. I also recall one of TJ's books ending on the rather odd note of him complaining under this title about some ruling that cost him $200 or something. Let me just tell you about the real worst ruling ever, and it doesn't involve me !

It was a comp in the Birmingham area, and I honestly can't remember whether it was the now-defunct Rainbow or in Walsall (perhaps someone could confirm). It was a two-day affair and as the remaining participants assembled on the second day, one of them wasn't there. He was caught in some football traffic, and had called the casino but they started without him. So he gets blinded off, right ?

Well yes. But. The ruling was that after being absent for the table for three hands, he would be blinded off every hand. And, this is the best bit, like the grains of rice on the chessboard, his blinds were doubled every hand ! Needless to say after about 5 hands all his chips were in the centre, and ended up in the grateful hands of Graham "The Wizard" Pound. Craig Grant told me he passed the nuts on this hand by the way.

And the reason for this ruling ? Apparently local players had been complaining about opponents amassing a large stack and then "gaining an advantage" by nipping off to the bar for a swift, or even a leisurely, beer.

Customer service is one thing but sometimes cardroom staff should, in my opinion, say "stop being so fucking stupid and play cards" instead of placating people with rules that haven't been thought through. If you can beat that ruling, do your worst below ! (Incidentally more kudos will be given if it didn't happen to you and you aren't just whingeing about it :-))

Books and Bits and Bobs

Thought I might as well give you the low-down on the books I picked up in the US. Matt Matros' book I have already covered, it's interesting but doesn't contain a lot of strategy info.

Super System II was maybe just about worth it for Todd Brunson's 7-card hi-lo chapter and Bobby Baldwin's limit Omaha 8 chapter. I'm not dead keen on the PLO advice and Big Dave D, whose judgement I trust in this game, has slated it. I can't really comment on Jennifer Harman's limit HE advice because I fell asleep trying to read it. Negreanu's triple draw section makes sense, should I ever find myself playing 200-400 triple draw, which seems unlikely. Brunson's NL advice is good but virtually a reprint of SS1, and the tournament section is pointlessly short.

"Tournament Poker and the Art of War" is moderately interesting but does make the common (almost universal in fact) mistake of over-emphasising survival in tournaments. You might be better off buying The Art of War itself (which is awesome) and drawing your own parallels.

Finally I considered it well worth $12.95 for another copy of "Play Poker, Quit Work and Sleep Till Noon" because the cover has fallen off my other one. That's how good this book is - you should have two copies :-)

. . .

Back to work for me tomorrow. Current spread on what time I fall asleep is 2.30/2.45 . Tomorrow might be a bit like going in hung over. It saves time not to do anything at all, because it'll only take you longer the next day to undo it and do it again right. You can probably tell from this disjointed post. Hopefully I will be awake by Wednesday when we should be filming some more "Bar Beat". I'll let you know how (and if) it goes. Having picked up a taste for NL cash in the US I might well focus my live efforts on Gutshot and the Vic at weekends, playing tournaments (Gutshot £100 freezeout sounds juicy) and trying out some cash on the side. I know Luton rocks on a Friday night but it's hard to play 8 hours after a day at work and I'm practically all out of holiday already.

. . .

I read a trip report today that was so depressing it made me realise there's a lot about live tournaments in England that I don't miss at all. I'm not going to name names here, if you think like I do I'm sure you'll know it when you see it. Finally, commiserations to Joe on his TV bubble finish in the WPT $25K. After having lunch with him in Vegas, I know he will be very disappointed now, but in time hopefully he should take a lot of positives from the result.

. . .

Finally finally, it's Chelsea v Liverpool in the Champions League semi-final this week. No wonder Alex Ferguson is so tetchy lately, as all the focus is on this game. I couldn't help noticing two adjacent headlines on the BBC website. "Mourinho issues Robben warning" and "Benitez hands out Gerrard warning". Benitez just hands warnings out - Mourinho issues them. It's kind of apt don't you think ? Although I have a funny feeling Liverpool might sneak this. As long as they keep choking in the Premiership I'm happy anyway :-)

So Close, But Yet So Far Away

It's funny how I'm just across the road from this event but I have next to no idea what's happening. You'll have to tune in to Pokerpages just like I am. I thought it was odd how they split the first day into two, and then had to play the third day with 80% of the field still in. So there are more players around today than on the previous two ! I did pop in on my way back from the MGM, and bumped into three English pros on break, but it was obviously a bad time so I made my excuses and left post haste ...

. . .

I did buttonhole Phil Gordon as briefly as I could yesterday just to tell him I enjoyed his book (which I did). He seemed genuinely pleased to hear that, I suspect partly because of the compliment for something other than being on TV, and partly because I made it clear with my body language that I didn’t want any more than 10 seconds of his time :-). I also had a quick chat with Greg Raymer who remembered me from 2+2 but again I didn’t take up much of his time. Greg was very friendly, in line with his excellent reputation.

. . .

A guy in the Aladdin was wearing the greatest T-shirt. It just had a happy head, and a handful of cards, and it said “Why work when you can play poker ?”. I asked him where he got it and he said “Connecticut”. Damn. I should have offered him $50 for it.

. . .

Sounds like I'm not missing too much football-wise. Barnet have closed the deal and Rangers have settled into mid-table, probably very grateful for the points cushion as they had half the youth team playing the other day. Meanwhile Everton did the business against United, and Gary Neville was apparently sent off for kicking the ball at a spectator ! Now now :-).

Most of the cardrooms here have wall-to-wall flat screen TVs with all sorts of sports on them. Baseball and basketball mostly, but we have also been treated to curling and juggling. Sadly no dog-jumping though - it must be out of season. American sports just seem to go on and on and on. They play endless games (especially in baseball and basketball) which hardly seem to matter, and no one ever gets relegated so you wonder what the point is ? Right now you will normally see at least two screens devoted to the intricacies of the NFL draft. The draft system obviously works to keep leagues competitive, but it does seem strangely at odds with the American way of doing things, and it must surely be a restraint of trade if it were ever challenged. Any thoughts ?

Running Down The Clock

I think 10 days is about enough in Vegas. But not to worry, this is still better than work :-). If there is going to be a $500 tomorrow at the Bellagio, I might play that. Otherwise I'm just going to chill and maybe play a bit of NL cash. I did find a good game in the Aladdin yesterday. I will need another string to my poker bow once I'm back home, just as a break from tournaments if nothing else. Given a choice between 7-card high-low and pot-limit omaha online, I'm probably leaning towards the former, which should suit me and has smaller swings (especially compared to PLO which may be the highest variance game there is).

. . .

450 runners for a $25,000 tournament ! Where's all the money coming from ? Looks like a tough field as well. Greg Raymer is right up there at the end of the first day, and so is Joe Grech. Joe ought to thank me for a form of reverse bok on this diary just before he won $220K. Which should teach me not to be so sarky ;-). Good luck to him.

. . .

Matt Matros’ book is quite interesting. I assumed it had been written after his WPT Final appearance, but in fact that was tacked on to the end in a postscript. Up to that point he had been doing ok but nothing special. You have to look at the odds he faded to make it that far. Won a $100 satellite on Party to win 2 super entries, that’s 50-1. Won a super, call that 4-1 as he had two chances. Then made the final table out of 300 runners, another 50-1. Parlay it all up at 10,000-1. I can accept that he had a decent edge in the on-line qualifier, but even with that his “true” odds must have been at least 3,000-1. This is basically all the hidden luck you need to never run into a big hand at the wrong time, or be outdrawn in a big pot. One thing that stood out though, he wasn’t afraid to back his read with all his chips, whether betting or calling, and his reads were correct when it counted. Good luck to him too. Good luck to anyone who's prepared to have a go. I don't recommend it myself, but if you must, then be positive and back your own judgement. Better to regret something you did ...

Not Earning, But Learning

Well, I busted a World Champion today. Just have a think, who is the most unimpressive World Champion that I could bust ? You got it. Check it out here .

. . .

I popped in to the Bellagio on my way past to have a look around, as I like to do at least once a day, but the PPT is all cordoned off and if you want to see what’s going on you have to press your face up to the glass like a slack-jawed yokel going “Lookey there Lurlene it’s Annie Duke can ya believe it ?”. I don’t want to be cynical while I’m on holiday but these people are really trying my patience. Frankly I’d have been 90% as happy never setting foot in the Bellagio all week (and $2500 better off to boot). Which is a lesson in itself I suppose.

. . .

I'm not the only one who's less than star-struck at the quality of the PPT field. Daniel Negreanu makes a good point :

"It pains me to see some players in the event that don't even support the WPT. They used to play tournaments years ago, and either because they can no longer financially afford it, or weren't lucky enough to stay afloat, are given a free ride."

Negreanu is probably being tactful when he says "weren't lucky enough to stay afloat". I think he makes another good point when he says there should still be a buy in, with the half mill added on.

. . .

I was thinking about the hand I played against Avner Levy a couple of days ago. In brief, I called him down because I remembered seeing him bluff quite frequently in the past. The reason it was easy to remember is that he's so loud at the table. This must be another good argument for being unobtrusive at the table. If no one notices you, they won't remember how you play. If you behave * like Mad Yank all the time, people are going to remember you 2, 5, 10 years later.

* behave is probably the wrong word in this context !

Brickbats and Bracelets

Ah, now I'm getting into my stride. I am glad I came out for two weeks, I would be gutted to be flying back today. I'm still considering whether to come out for the Series, but a here is a definite point in favour. Two tournaments a day in the Palms, right across the road, and right at my level. That should keep me going as a default game. I've never done all that well in multi-tables over here, especially the smaller ones, but now I've revamped my game I feel right in the zone. More results here, and for those of you who know Avner Levy, some Avner-related fun too.

. . .

I see that Card Player are now styling themselves as “The Poker Authority”. I always think that a healthy disrespect for authority is a good thing.

. . .

Now that it’s common practice to take 3% of the prize pool as a “tip”, a few bright sparks on the casino side have been coming up with ways to exploit this. What I saw in the Mirage yesterday wins hands down so far. Next week they are having 3 Heads Up tournaments, $2500, $5000 and $7500. Winner also receives an entry into the PPT ! How generous !

Each of these is limited to 16 runners. Let’s have a look at the $7500. It’s $7500 + $200, that’s $3200 to the house straight off. 16 x $7500 x 3% = $3600 more. 8 dealers and 2 floor staff should be able to run this standing on their heads. The whole thing might take 10-12 hours (each match is best of 3). That amounts to around $60 per man-hour. Probably more because you’ll only need 4 dealers after the first round, and so on. $60 an hour ! I wish I could make that at work ! And my job is a lot more taxing than dealing flops and making a few rulings. In conclusion, are they having a laugh ?

But wait - they are adding an entry to the PPT. But no - they could add 100 entries to the PPT and it wouldn’t cost THEM anything ! It’s a free roll with a fixed prize pool. All very clever because the whole set-up is appealing to players’ egos. Be the heads up champion ! Take your place among the PPT elite (like Susie Isaacs and Joe Grech, but anyway). And as we shake your hand, Mirage $7500 Heads Up Champion 2005, I’m sure the dealers would appreciate a little something ? I’d give them a little something alright. It just wouldn’t be money.

. . .

The over/under on Lance Armstrong bracelets when you sit down at poker table is currently around 1.5-2. I can’t help thinking that these people are missing the point. Armstrong came through his problems with tremendous will, discipline, self-sacrifice and incredibly hard training. Most of these nob-ends have as much trouble folding AT pre-flop as they do walking past a Krispy Kreme. Putting a yellow tag on your wrist isn’t going to help much.

Maison De Ponce

Following on from my previous post, I'll tell you what's wrong with the Bellagio. It thinks it's a fucking art gallery. The whole point of Vegas is to be cheap and cheerful. Ok sure, gaudy and glitzy, but all in a laid-back and self-aware kind of way. No doubt if a Bellagio marketing weasel was asked if they were cheap and cheerful he/she/it would reply, "I would say that we are competitively priced and chargez * avec joie de vivre". I just don't like it in there, you kind of feel like you shouldn't lean on anything unless you leave a mark. It should be that you don't want to lean on anything in case it marks you. Walking around the Bellagio it's easy to forget that it's been built by Social Security cheques passing through slot machines, just like the rest of them. PS this post is completely unrelated to the fact that I can't win a hand in the Bellagio and I can't miss anywhere else.

* I know that's wrong I can't do an accent on the e !

. . .

It's strange how over here the whinge dynamic is reversed compared to England. In the small tournaments, no one's really that bothered. People will shake your hand when you knock them out, bad beat or not, smile and say "all part of the game". Over in the Bellagio, you only have to sit down in a satellite and everyone wants to tell you their tale of woe from the previous day/week/year/entire life. They'll grizzle for 20 minutes if they lose a hand on the river and stalk off if they bust out on a 50/50. In England I find there's nothing worse than the smallest tournaments for whingers and cry-babies. Strange is all !

. . .

Yesterday I made a bit of an effort to be friendlier at the table, I mean not to the extent of being fascinated with where the guy in the next seat lives and how many grandchildren he has, like a lot of them, or indeed listening to bad beat stories, but just to respond politely to conversation rather than going "mmm" and looking away as I tend to sometimes. Perhaps unsurprisingly I enjoyed myself more. At one point a woman says "this is my first tournament" and I chipped in "yeah this is my first time too", which got a good laugh. "Yeah right" the guy says as only an American can say it, with a smile though.

I still think though talk at the bar, play poker at the table. Harry D sat down next to me in the $1500 and although I've never actually met him he does have a reputation for bending your ear at the table. So I was planning to maintain radio silence at the table so as not to give away I was English (just in case), when Toran sat down who I know a little and is a friend of a friend so I had to say hello. Katherine said I should have said "Bonjour" - I never thought of that. But evidently Harry had bigger fish to fry as he didn't get involved. Mind you he was only there for 20 minutes. The kindest thing I can say about his game is that he wasn't there long enough for me to make a definitive judgement.

. . .

I haven't clashed with any major faces yet. Or even any minor ones. Just Harry D and Max Stern yesterday, neither of whom would keep you awake at night worrying about being drawn against them quite frankly. That Scott Aigner from Pokerpages was in a satellite. He's obviously keen as mustard on the game, as you can tell from his writing, but he's got a way to go regarding understanding the game, and I wonder if he's going to get there. Hopefully he won't be another Dr. Mark, also from Pokerpages. You can tell a great deal about someone's game from listening to them talk about it, and even more from what they write. Here was a guy who, whatever results he was pulling out in the short term, was just bound to go broke and basically ruin his life with poker. Like the guy says in Trainspotting about heroin, some people are predisposed to the addiction. They have an affinity for it. Scott seems a nice guy so I hope he doesn't follow that path. But many will, whether we hear about it or not.

. . .

As for talking a good game, I reinvested my blackjack profits in a small percentage of Bushy in today's $2500. Garry is a top player who understands the game inside out, far better than many with bigger reputations. He has suffered a little by association with Jac, and certainly that documentary didn't do him any favours, but if you want to learn about poker tournament play, watch Garry very closely and listen to every word he says. I don't know anyone in poker I've spoken to who talks more basic common sense.

$1500 No Good

As it says in the title. Update on tournament results here, with incisive commentary of course.

So here I am, surfing the web, listening to Midnight Oil and writing gubbins about football (to follow). Some might ask is this how one should spend a holiday in Vegas ? I might counter that this is what I like doing. So if I'm not playing poker 24/7 I might as well do it. What did you expect me to do, spend all my free time in Spearmint Rhino's ?

. . .

I doubt if I'll be spending that much time in the Bellagio. The satellites aren't anywhere near as good value as the smaller tournaments you can find elsewhere, for various reasons (to follow). For me the Bellagio is too far up itself anyway. This is Vegas ! If I wanted poncey I'd have gone to Monte Carlo.

. . .

Went to see Elton John last night. Note to forum wags - I like kd lang too but that doesn't mean I'm a lesbian (unfortunately). I'm not a massive Elton John fan, don't have any of his records, but I thought he'd do a good show, and he did. Obviously he wasn't going to "showcase his latest album" so it was a good mix with some songs I like, Philadelphia Freedom and so on. And his band was good too. Not bad for $100, amazing what you can blag sometimes if you just ask. Although there might have been a discount for single guys with Jimi Somerville haircuts. To put that into perspective though I've been to a lot of gigs in my time and that's the most I have ever paid for one show. It's just that in Vegas, money seems to lose so much meaning you think "$100, wow that's cheap" !

. . .

I have been scouting out some of the new card rooms, obviously in places like the Flamingo and Harrah's you go in with no idea where the poker room is. A good tip though is to look for the Sports Book (which is usually massive) and the poker room will be close to hand. They don't miss many tricks here. I'm in the Barbary Coast which is very well located and perfectly adequate (with bonus high speed Internet connection of course). Every morning they have "Craps Lessons". Sounds a bit like teaching kids to smoke. Roll up, roll up, a lifetime of sickness awaits !!

. . .

Oh yeah football, I nearly forgot (easy to do out here). Hooray for Paul Fairclough and Barnet who clinched promotion yesterday. Wish I could have been there but never mind. Boo to Sheffield United who ended QPR's "faint playoff hopes" ( (c) everybody) with a 90th minute dodgy pen victory. And results went my way with the bets I have on so all to play for there. What really caught my eye this morning though was this. On balance I think Mourinho is a bit annoying and I wouldn't trust the guy as far as I could throw him. But he is absolutely spot on here, and he says it well too. Most of the "experts" are indeed failed managers or ex-players who didn't have the bottle to do it themselves. I think managers do get too much stick sometimes. Look at the top three - whatever happens, even if all three managers do a fantastic job, two of them are going to miss out on the league. And they're going to cop a load of stick for it. Similarly at the bottom, everyone could do a great job, three would still go down. Managers take stick for a lot of things that aren't their fault. Mind you I still think Steve Bruce is a twat. Oh and one other thing - there is no mention of Mourinho's comments on the BBC website. Strange that. The BBC has been compared to a totalitarian state before - 1984 is in part a parody of the BBC bureaucracy that Orwell had to deal with. Learn something new every day don't you ?

What An Age We Live In

Well here I am ! Having brought my laptop along as a kind of portable entertainment centre (music/DVDs) and nothing more, I am pleasantly surprised that I can just connect it in my hotel room and here I am for $10/day. The TV Internet access they have is just about ok for finding out that Rangers have lost 3-2 to a last minute disputed penalty (Holloway incandescent with rage by all accounts) and so starting off the day on tilt, but that's about all. Trying to type anything like E-mails or blog posts is an utter nightmare. But now I should be all systems go and update-tastic. The first Email that catches my eye is a money-added tournament online (find out where for yourself damn you) and I immediately think "ooo, when's that !". I am sad but I am not going to sit here in my room in Las Vegas playing online poker. I'm playing the $1500 today anyway (just to keep temptation at bay).

I feel this $1500 is simply going to be a gamble, I can't see there being that many fish in it. But I'm confident enough that I can "toss a fair coin" and at least give it a spin as even money. Updates to follow, and don't forget I'll be posting here as well.

PS yes I know it's 7am, I haven't quite adjusted yet !

Right Then

Off to Vegas with $5,000 and a Gus Hansen haircut. Place bets below as to which will last the longest, and stay tuned for updates.

Take It Like A Man

Am I just getting old or is football a little bit more childish, a little bit more petty every season ? A number of examples caught my eye this weekend.

Obviously you had Dyer and Bowyer fighting each other like the chavs they are. I'm sure you don't need me to expand on that, we've already heard enough about "a sad day for Newcastle United". I mean come on, no one died or anything. I'll stop before I weaken my own case here :-). Something else that happened in the same game, do try to see this if you haven't, Newcastle's Steven Taylor performed an excellent save low to his left from Darius Vassell's shot - the only problem being that Taylor is a centre half. It was just that after palming the ball away he immediately fell to the ground clutching his chest like he'd been shot, I mean literally like a child playing Cowboys and Indians. Does he wake up this morning and think "well, I made myself look a bit of a twat there" ? And finally we saw Robbie Keane stalking off like a 10-year old when Tottenham made their last substitution, leaving him on the bench.

Meanwhile I was at QPR where we lost 3-1 after a poor second half performance. Not good but these things happen and it was against Sunderland who are top of the league. But with about 3 minutes left there was a commotion behind me and I saw one guy, who must have been about 60 years old, absolutely frothing at the mouth, slagging off Holloway and having to be ushered away by stewards. It was nice to see a few people sticking up for the manager and giving him some back, I must admit even I stood up and had a word, in the heat of the moment. But Rangers would be nowhere without Ian Holloway and I just can't believe someone can be so vitriolic over one defeat (incidentally only the second in 10 games).

The bottom line is that outside of the 3 big nobs pretty much everyone loses as many as they win, over time. Give it your best but if you lose a game, how about keeping your self-respect, and taking it like a man ?